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Uh, wait, what?

Since when do the file browser, wireless network manager, and other random worthless features of desktop environments matter?  xterm does all of these things and more, and I assure you it runs perfectly fine in KDE...

And FYI, you can run GNOME apps in KDE.  There's a slight memory overhead as you have to include both gtk and qt, but you use firefox and not konqueror, so you're loading gtk anyways.

Finally, if stuff doesn't work for you, that's the point of this open-source thing you've been preaching: FIX IT YOURSELF!  Stuff doesn't magically work under Linux.  If you want it to, use Windows.  Windows is good at that.  That's why it's so popular.